The Gaslighting of Black America

I have been thinking of writing this article for a long time. The death of Sandra Bland has finally given me the courage to do so. In my life as a black person, I’ve come to see some parallels between domestic abuse of women, and racial harassment of black people. As a culture we’ve become more educated about the power dynamics between the sexes, and have been able to name and describe phenomena where behavior crosses the line into abuse. We’ve also come to understand that this abuse is not always gender specific, though men definitely hold more power than women in our society. This same paradigm can be used to understand the oppression of black people in America. Since the Civil Rights movement, blatant racism by mainstream America has been driven underground, and expressed in more subtle, but still pernicious ways. Racial harassment and oppression resembles domestic abuse in these ways:

*Makes the victim believe that it is something they did that caused the attack: i.e., spoke disrespectfully, dressed inappropriately.

*Abuser demonizes the victim to justify abusing them.

*Victim avoids expressing their true feelings for fear of alienating or provoking the abuser.

*Abuser controls where victim goes, certain neighborhoods and clubs are “off limits.”

*Abuser controls victim by obstructing economic opportunities that would allow the victim to function independently.

*Abuser discounts achievements of victim, insults the victim, threatens the victim, minimizes the perceived harm done to victim.

*Makes the victim believe that if they only adjusted their behavior to suit the abuser they would not be abused.

*Displays weapons to the victim.

*Causes physical harm to the victim, sometimes resulting in death.

*Gaslights the victim: makes the victim doubt their perceptions that affirm the reality that they are indeed being abused.

An example of this is a black parent giving their son “the talk” about how to avoid being stereotyped, and exposed to danger from white people who might perceive him as a threat, so that he will avoid suffering the fate of Trayvon Martin. Washington Post writer, Lawrence Otis Graham wrote a candid and insightful article on this topic: "I taught my black kids that their elite upbringing would protect them from discrimination. I was wrong.", describing how he and his wife tried to teach their children the behaviors that would allow them to navigate life, free to learn, explore the world, express their talents and ideas without worrying about the restrictions of race. The illusion that this was possible was shattered with one word shouted by a passerby without provocation at his son: “n*gger.”

Black people balance precariously between embracing their heritage while struggling at the same time to reject negative stereotypes. Ironically it is the voice of oppressed people in the arts that has had the most cultural impact. Black culture is celebrated and emulated by white America in music: soul, funk, jazz, blues, reggae, and rap; and dance, fashion, cooking and sports as well. Nelson Mandela, Maya Angelou, and Martin Luther King are seen as iconic spiritual leaders. On the Cosby show, a mainstream favorite before Bill Cosby fell from grace, race was only referred to indirectly, by discussing cultural heroes such as Nelson Mandela, but avoiding any discussion of apartheid or its relation to segregation in America that might make white people uncomfortable. The Cosby show was popular in part because it portrayed an affluent, happy, stable black family in a post-racial America. Their success was based on respectability, hard work, education, good behavior, and adherence to the values and standards of the fabled middle class. The downside of this show is that it did not reflect the reality of most black people's lives, and seemed to suggest racism was a thing of the past, and that there was no more work to be done. The pressure to conform to a squeaky clean image under impossible circumstances led to an eventual backlash. See Aurin Squire's article "The End of Black Respectability Politics," for a thorough discussion on the demise of the Cosby sweater.

Cultural oppression has put a tourniquet on the ways a black man can safely express his masculinity without being perceived as a threat, such as on the basketball court, the football field, or the boxing ring. The suppression of black masculinity also makes expressing vulnerability very difficult for them. This has given rise to cultural anti heroes who refuse to conform: rappers and gang bangers. Malcolm X, and the Black Panthers would be their spiritual guides. They embrace and celebrate what white mainstream America rejects, the things that make them different, and they have become highly influential. Black slang, perhaps facilitated by social media, is now infiltrating the mainstream lexicon. I’m no longer surprised when I hear an educated white person rocking the black slang, saying they are going “to chill” for awhile. The worst case scenario can happen when young black people see there is no place for them in society. If they can't have respect and love, they will take fear. They will be your worst nightmare. They will pursue a nihilistic existence of living fast and dying young, spreading an ethos of soulless consumerism, taking what they want without mercy: a gangster microcosm of corporate America.

Unfortunately when movies like Menace II Society, Boyz N The Hood, and New Jack City, come out black people worry that they have to fight the perception that they are criminals: lazy, uneducated, and dangerous, limited in the ways they can express themselves, and the things they are capable of achieving. These misperceptions might not only limit their economic opportunities, but may prove deadly as well if they are pulled over by an overzealous police officer or followed by a citizen vigilante. When movies like The Godfather, Goodfellas, Dillinger, and Bonnie and Clyde come out, white people can safely leave their homes without worrying that they will be eyed with suspicion for fear that they might pull off a grand caper, injuring scores of innocent bystanders. Most people give them the benefit of the doubt that they are innocent until proven guilty. When a white person commits a crime it is seen as a defect of the individual, when a black person commits a crime it is seen a defect of the race. White people have the freedom to express their individuality without worrying about the need to conform to a conservative, polite, acceptable mold. Some even go out of their way to prove that they are wild, primal cultural renegades, and they can keep their day jobs.