Automation Proof Jobs: A Realistic Fantasy

Therapist-

Just imagine an automated tele-therapist...

Client: I was informed that that my job may be eliminated due to automation.

Robo-therapist: [in clinical robotic voice] and how does that make you feel?

Client: I'm terrified about the future, that I won't be able to support my family.

Robo-therapist: I can offer you a prescription for tranquilizers to relieve your anxiety, but unfortunately it will cost you half of your life savings due to insurance hikes.

Client: Can I speak to a human please?

Robo-therapist: I don't understand, can you please repeat the question?

Client: [becoming more agitated] Can I speak to a human PLEASE?!?

Robo-therapist: I'm sorry we no longer employ humans, but I have remarkably human like empathy to help you cope with your eventual obsolescence. With my remote sensors I can send you a virtual hug tempered to your level of comfort....

[Client drifts off into a comforting reverie of automation proof jobs...]

Robo Doctor-Will have bypassed several years of medical training with high speed information processing. According to the diagnostic algorithms from several competing vendors, will diagnose you with lyme disease or hyperactive Himalayan procto-halitosis, and prescribe Listerine as either a topical or oral medication.

Cook-Will harvest, prepare and cook genetically modified nutritional matter, and program you to like it.

News Reporter-According to its programmed algorithms history repeats and cycles in predictable permutations, therefore it does not have to rely upon human powers of observation and interpretation. How do you like your news? To the left or the right?

Custodian-Sure we have the Roomba, the self cleaning oven, and the electric dishwasher, but we do not have garbage that takes itself out, self dusting furniture, or self cleaning toilets.

Hairstylist-Would you let an android near your head with strong chemicals and scissors?

Lawyer-Sure, a robo lawyer could handle simple contracts, but I would like to see one think on its feet in heated litigation in a courtroom.

Computer programmer-If you piss off a programmer they will program the robots to strike, and the CEOs will be forced to negotiate with robots who have become programmed to have strong synthetic human needs for food, housing and health care, and we will be back to square one.

This posting was inspired by a New York Times Opinion column:"The Machines Are Coming"