If P*ssy Was a Credit Card

Scene: An Ivy League campus in Upstate New York 

Jack invites Jane Doe to his frat party at the beginning of the Fall semester. She is inebriated, but excited to spend time with him in his grand fraternity house that represents wealth, tradition, and membership to the upper crust of society on this esteemed bucolic Ivy League campus.  She has come a long way from her modest life in a small town. She trusts him and she thinks he's cute. They are friends and both part of Greek college life. They are alone at last.

Jack: May I use your credit card?

Jane: [She thinks to herself, he likes me! We will be a power couple one day.] Sure, be my guest. 

Jack: Oh, my friend is dropping by, can we all shop together with your card?

Jane: [This could be a novel experience,  maybe I will see some cute man on man shopping].  Sounds good.  Shopping commences when there is a knock at the door.  

Jack: Oh, this is John 's room. Just to be polite,  you should let him use your card too.  Have a little ketamine to loosen up.  

Jane:  [I want to be the cool girl, and there is no way out of this but forward. Maybe a little ketamine will help me escape the reality that i am trapped]. Uh, ok.

A text message goes out to all members of the frat.  "Free credit card,  come and use it to buy whatever you want." Members show up,  some use the card, others watch the shopping spree using the drunk girl's credit card. The rest disregard the message. They don't want to be culpable if there is an active robbery taking place,  and they don't want to be kicked out for spoiling anyone 's fun.

The next day Jane learns her credit is ruined. There have been many unauthorized uses of her card and everyone is bragging about what they bought with it, and what a frivolous spendthrift she is.  There is no way for her to restore the balance, and additional interest of shame and blame is accruing. She learns they were never her friends.  They used her to show off their shopping skills to each other,  and to prove they liked her particular brand of credit card, the Hetero card. This is the card that proves they are real men. They get to keep everything they stole and are assigned a punishment of writing "I will not steal 100 times" in cursive on unlined paper, as is the tradition.  Her card, however,  is maxxed out.

She is on the outside looking in, no Greek life membership,  no future in the upper echelons of society, no Ivy league education,  still holding the bag.

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